Quote from Forum Archives on April 23, 2007, 11:02 am

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"REGARDING YOUR PATIENTS"

 

 

A WOMAN, CALLING A LOCAL HOSPITAL,
SAID, "HELLO, I'D LIKE TO TALK TO THE PERSON WHO GIVES THE INFORMATION REGARDING YOUR PATIENTS.
I'D LIKE TO FIND OUT IF THE PATIENT IS GETTING BETTER, DOING AS EXPECTED OR IS GETTING WORSE."

 

THE VOICE ON THE OTHER END OF THE LINE SAID,
"WHAT IS THE PATIENTS NAME AND ROOM NUMBER?"

 

SHE SAID, "SARA FINKLE, IN ROOM 302."

 

"I WILL CONNECT YOU WITH THE NURSING STATION."

 

"3-A NURSING STATION. HOW CAN I HELP YOU?"

 

"I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW THE CONDITION OF SARA FINKLE IN ROOM 302."

 

"JUST A MOMENT. LET ME LOOK AT HER RECORDS.
OH YES, MRS. FINKLE IS DOING VERY WELL. IN FACT SHE'S HAD TWO FULL MEALS,
HER BLOOD PRESSURE IS FINE
AND HER BLOOD WORK JUST CAME BACK AS NORMAL. SHE'S GOING TO BE TAKEN OFF THE HEART MONITOR IN A COUPLE OF HOURS AND IF SHE CONTINUES THIS IMPROVEMENT. DR. COHEN IS GOING TO SEND HER HOME TUESDAY AT TWELVE O' CLOCK."

 

THE WOMAN SAID," THANK GOD!
THAT'S WONDERFUL"
OH! THAT'S FANTASTIC.
THAT'S WONDERFUL NEWS!"

 

THE NURSE SAID," FROM YOUR ENTHUSIASM, I TAKE IT YOU MUST BE A CLOSE FAMILY MEMBER OR A VERY CLOSE FRIEND!"

 

"NOT EXACTLY, I AM SARAH FINKEL IN ROOM 302!
AND NOBODY HERE TELLS ME ANYTHING!"

 

"First Day of School"

 

 

On the first day of school, the Kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers."

 

A little voice from the back of the room asked, "How will that help?"

 

 

"MOSES AND JESUS PLAYING GOLF"

 

Jesus and Moses were playing golf one day on the Jack Nicklaus course in Montana.
This course had a particularly difficult hole,
and Moses expressed his doubts that
Jesus could make the shot over the water.

 

"Watch this, Moses, I think I can do it," exclaimed Jesus.
"I've seen Arnold Palmer make this shot,
 and if Arnold Palmer can do it,
then so can I."

 

Moses rolled his eyes and let Jesus try.
Sure enough, the ball splashed into the water.
Moses parted the water for Jesus,
who went in to retrieve his ball.

 

Jesus, however, was not ready to give up.

 

"I know I can do this, Moses -- I've seen Arnold Palmer
do it, and if he can do it, then so can I."

 

True to form, however,
Jesus' ball ended up back in the water.
Moses parted the water,
and Jesus went in to retrieve the ball.

 

"Look, Jesus," said Moses. "Try again if you like,
but I'm not parting the water for you again."

 

"Fair enough, Moses," said Jesus.
"But you know, I've seen Arnold Palmer make this shot,
and if Arnold Palmer can do it, then so can I."

 

Once again, Jesus' ball was in the water.
Jesus proceeded to walk upon the water to get it.

 

Another group of golfers came up behind Moses
and saw Jesus walking on the water.
"Holy Cow!" one of them said to Moses.
"Who does that guy think he is, Jesus ?"

 

"No," said Moses, rolling his eyes.
"He thinks he's Arnold Palmer."

 

Have a Blessed Day

Dave and Barbara

 

 

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