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Secret Service Wednesday

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

This will be a special Easter edition today and there will be no papers untill next Wednesday due to the Easter Holliday.
We wish each of you and yours a very safe, healthy and Happy Easter.
Dave and Barbara
 
"Secret Service"
 
A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"
 
My friend said, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."
 
Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?"
 
He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service!"
"Easter Leftovers"
 
 
After hunting around the house, two children have found their Easter
baskets and are enjoying them. Soon one asks
 
"Who colored all these eggs?"
 
To which his sister replied,
 
"The Easter bunny."
 
"Who gave us the jelly beans?"
 
"The Easter bunny."
 
"And the chocolate rabbits?"
 
"The Easter bunny."
 
Obviously, there was nothing beyond the reach of the Easter bunny.
 
The family attended Easter services and heard the preacher say,
 
"They came to the tomb and saw that the stone had been rolled back. Who
could have done this?"
 
To which the little boy jumped up in the pew and said. . . .
 
"The Easter Bunny!"
 
 
"Saving the Easter Bunny"
 
A man was blissfully driving along the highway, when he saw the Easter Bunny hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the Bunny, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of his car and was hit. The basket of eggs went flying all over the place.
 
The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road, and got out to see what had become of the Bunny carrying the basket. Much to his dismay, the colorful Bunny was dead. The driver felt guilty and began to cry.
 
A woman driving down the same highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong.
 
"I feel terrible," he explained, "I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny and killed it. There may not be an Easter because of me. What should I do?"
 
The woman told the man not to worry. She knew exactly what to do. She went to her car trunk, and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead Bunny, and sprayed the entire contents of the can onto the little furry animal.
 
Miraculously the Easter Bunny came to back life, jumped up, picked up the spilled eggs and candy, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped on down the road. 50 yards away the Easter Bunny stopped, turned around, waved and hopped on down the road another 50 yards, turned, waved, hopped another 50 yards and waved again!
 
The man was astonished. He said to the woman, "What in heaven's name is in your spray can? What was it that you sprayed on the Easter Bunny?" The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said: "Hair spray. Restores life to dead hair. Adds permanent wave."
 
Have a Blessed Easter
Dave and Barbara
 
 
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