Quote from Forum Archives on March 14, 2007, 2:32 am

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"The Front Pew"

 

 

An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps.
"Where would you like to sit?" he asked politely.

 

"The front row please," she answered.

 

"You really don't want to do that," the usher said. "The pastor is really boring."

 

"Do you happen to know who I am?" the woman inquired.

 

"No," he said.

 

"I'm the pastor's mother," she replied indignantly.

 

"Do you know who I am?" he asked.

 

"No," she said.

 

"Good," he answered, "Let me show you the front pew."

 

"Little Johnny"

 

 

Little Johnny burst through the front door with a smile on his
face. Surprised that Johnny was home so early, his mother
asked, "Why are you home from school so early?"

 

Johnny answered, "I was the only one who could answer a
question."

 

"Oh, really? What was the question?" his mother asked.

 

"Who threw the eraser at the teacher?"

 

"Two Blind Pilots"

 

 

Two blind pilots were both wearing dark glasses. One is using a guide dog and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a cane.

 

Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes and the engines start up. The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming.

 

The plane moves faster and faster down the runway and the people sitting in the window seats realize they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport. As it begins to look as though the plane will plough into the water, panicked screams fill the cabin.

 

At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a
little sheepishly and soon all retreat into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands.

 

In the cockpit, one of the blind pilots turns to the other and says, "Ya know, Bob, one of these days, they're gonna scream too late and we're all gonna die."

 

Have a Blessed Day

Dave and Barbara

 

 

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