Quote from Forum Archives on August 5, 2002, 10:38 am

Posted by: bhfbc <bhfbc@...>

TO FORGIVE OR NOT TO FORGIVE
August 4, 2002
Text: Genesis 32:6-12; 33:1-4

Having just finished a week of Vacation Bible School, I experienced once
more how children can absolutely surprise and humble us with their
answers to our questions. I am certain that those serving as children’s
group guides experienced some rather comical moments as well. Well, this
isn’t from Bible School, but one Sunday school teacher wrote about an
incident in her class: “I had just finished a lesson on Christian
behavior. ‘Now, Billy,’ I asked, ‘tell me what we must do before we can
expect to be forgiven for our sins.’ Without hesitation, Billy replied,
‘First we gotta sin.’ (Clara Null, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, Christian
Reader, "Kids of the Kingdom," from the Bible Illustrator, Parsons
Technology).

Even though we can’t deny the accuracy of her student’s logic, I don’t
think that that was the answer the teacher was hoping for. I’m certain
that something like “saying I’m sorry” or even “asking for forgiveness”
would have matched what the teacher had taught. Probably all of us know
with all too much experience that committing the sin is no problem at
all. All of us humans don’t seem to have much trouble committing the sin
for which we need forgiveness.

Jacob was certainly one of our spiritual ancestors who knew about sin. As
a young man, he went along with his mother’s plots to steal first his
brother’s birthright and then his father’s blessing. In essence, Jacob
stole Esau’s inheritance. While his brother was out hunting, Jacob
dressed up like Esau and pretended to be his brother at the time Isaac
passed along the blessing to who he thought was his oldest son. You can
read all the details in Genesis 25 and 27.

Needless to say, this created quite a family feud. We read of Esau’s
intent in Genesis 27:41. “Esau held a grudge against Jacob because of the
blessing his brother had given him. He said to himself, ‘The days of
mourning for my father are near; then I will kill my brother Jacob.’” So
their mother, Rebekah, schemed once more to help Jacob and arranged for
Isaac to send Jacob away to their homeland in Paddan Aram and away from
the threats of Esau.

Several years later, Jacob was forced to leave that land as well. As he
returned to the country of Edom, he sent some messengers ahead to try to
find out his brother’s attitude toward him and to try to smooth things
over. All Jacob discovers in return is that Esau was coming to meet Jacob
with four hundred men.

That sounds serious, doesn’t it? I’m certain that if we were in Jacob’s
place, we would interpret the message as a threat. After all, Jacob had
done a grievous act against his brother, and Esau was certainly capable
of violent behavior. After all, the last words that he knew his brother
spoke about him were death threats. Yeah, I’d probably see Esau as a
threat, too.

In the face of this threat, Jacob at least goes to prayer. And even
though he recognizes what God has done for him and thanks God for that,
notice how Jacob fails to mention anything about forgiveness for all the
heartache he has caused. Nor, in his preparations to meet Esau, does
Jacob entertain the thought of simply seeking forgiveness from his
brother. Instead, he divides his possessions and servants up in such a
way as to try to get Esau to believe that Jacob’s force is stronger than
it really is.

Nevertheless, the moment comes when Jacob has to face his brother. The
moment of truth arrives, and Jacob is still scared out of his mind about
what Esau is going to do to him, his family, and his possessions. But
then, a strange thing happens. Still fearing the worst, and still not
openly asking for forgiveness, Esau takes the initiative. “But Esau ran
to meet Jacob and embraced him; he threw his arms around his neck and
kissed him. And they wept.”

Well! That’s quite a twist, isn’t it? Instead of receiving the sword,
Jacob received a hug. Jacob experienced forgiveness from his brother,
Esau. Although it could not be fully known until centuries later, I
believe that God used this account even then to prepare His people for
the coming of the Messiah. Granted, these are not the verses
traditionally used as prophecies of the Messiah. Nevertheless, there
appear to be some remarkable parallels between Jacob’s experience with
Esau and our experience with Jesus.

I find it amazing that even though Esau was the one wronged by Jacob, and
even though Jacob continued to act a bit suspicious and even arrogant
toward his brother, Esau forgave him unconditionally. In this moment of
reunion, Esau knew only that he wanted to restore the broken
relationship.

How similar is that to Jesus’ treatment of every enemy he had to face?
Even though there were moments when he had to confront some others, his
overarching goals was always restoration with the Father. Even through
the agony of his suffering on the cross, Jesus still uttered the prayer,
“Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And he
openly accepted the one criminal who asked to be remembered.

It is unfortunate that the very children of God and men of faith could
not understand Jesus’ purpose even when he put it to them so plainly. It
is unfortunate that they could perceive God’s Kingdom only from the
perspective of their own narrow, limited vision of how they thought God
should act. It is unfortunate that they could not even remember the
lessons from their own heritage, such as the lesson from Esau. Here was
the man who came to represent a source of some of their enemies. The Jews
of Jesus’ day treated other groups marginally related to them, such as
the Samaritans, despicably. Yet, Esau, the father of the Edomites,
treated Jacob much better than Jacob had ever treated Esau. When it came
down to it, Esau forgave. As the Bible tells us, this is the way of God.

Christians can learn a valuable lesson from this encounter between Esau
and Jacob. We should be aware of our reputation in our families and our
communities. When non-Christian family members or neighbors are easier to
live with and have a better reputation as people who are quick to
forgive, then we should be asking ourselves how we are living out our
faith. Christians who cannot or do not forgive are not Christians who are
growing spiritually. They are Christians who are not giving Jesus a good
witness. Without acts of forgiveness, it is impossible for Christian love
to be practiced. C. S. Lewis has a helpful comment on what Christian love
involves: “It would be quite wrong to think that the way to become
‘loving’ is to sit trying to manufacture affectionate feelings. Some
people are ‘cold’ by temperament; that may be a misfortune for them, but
it is no more a sin than having a bad digestion is sin; and it does not
cut them off from the chance, or excuse them from the duty, of learning
‘love.’ The rule for us all is perfectly simple. Do not waste time
bothering whether you ‘love’ your neighbor; act as if you did. As soon as
we do this, we learn one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as
if you loved someone, you will presently come to love them. If you injure
someone you dislike, you will find yourself disliking him more. If you do
him a good turn, you will find yourself disliking him less. There is
however one exception. If you do him a good turn, not to please God and
obey the law of love, but to show him what a fine forgiving chap you are,
and to put him in your debt, and then sit down to wait for his
‘gratitude,’ you will probably be disappointed.... But whenever we do
good to another self, just because it is a self, made like us by God, and
desiring its own happiness as we desire ours, we shall have learned to
love it a little more or, at least, to dislike it less.” (taken from
Bible Illustrator, Parsons Technology). Good thoughts to live by.

Hamlet’s soliloquy, “to be or not to be, that is the question,” is often
purposefully misquoted. I do it today: “to forgive or not to forgive,
that is the question.” Well, if that is a question asked by the
Christian, then the answer has already been given by God Himself. The
answer for the Christian must always be “to forgive.” “Father, forgive
them, for they do not know what they are doing.”

Rev. Charles A. Layne, pastor, First Baptist Church, Bunker Hill, IN

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