Quote from Forum Archives on August 12, 2001, 9:25 am

Posted by: homenews <homenews@...>

Dear Hope Chest readers,

Kathyrn Stout's newsletter this month meshes
so nicely with the theme of yesterday's Hope
Chest that I couldn't resist forwarding it. If you
want to subscribe, her contact information is
at the end.

Enjoy!

Virginia

--------- Forwarded message ----------

Kathryn Stout's Teaching Help Column
<www.designastudy.com/teaching/>

Training Our Children In the Way They Should Go
by Kathryn Stout
August, 2001

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My children are grown, so my homeschooling days are behind me.
At least until I have grandchildren. As I reflect, I know that I am
grateful most of all that both of my children are self-confident and
have unwavering faith that God has a special plan for their lives.
All of my efforts to teach them academic concepts and skills
would be of little value if they did not recognize their potential and
then desire to use it to make a positive difference in this world. As
I work with parents whose teen-agers are aimless, without a sense
of purpose or meaning, I find myself sharing some of what I did
with my own kids. Perhaps these ideas will be helpful to you as
well.

As long as they can remember, my children were continually
reminded that God made them for a special purpose. With each
and every difficulty, I tried to offer advice based on God's Word.
Some of those physical (health) obstacles are still being battled,
but we pray together and remember that every difficulty makes us
stronger in Christ, building us into even more effective soldiers. I
look back in my prayer journals and am encouraged to see the
positive outcomes of some battles that lasted years and years, or
the direction that finally came after wondering when, when, when?
We would talk about times of struggle and how God was faithful,
encouraging each other to keep trusting.

I prayed daily about the children in order to establish priorities
both in their schooling and in shaping their character. My
daughter would have preferred spending her days reading and
writing with no exercise at all. I regularly signed her up for
extracurricular activities despite her protests -- art, violin and
piano lessons, swimming, gymnastics, etc. I insisted she continue
with gymnastics and piano lessons for several years. She even
competed as part of a gymnastics team. She was obedient and
worked hard, but always under protest. Now, at 24, she says she
has to homeschool in order for her kids to have time for all the
outside lessons she plans to enroll them in.

There were plenty of days that I wearied of being the drill sergeant
my son seemed to need in order to stay focused. And plenty of
days I gave in, only to have him tell me years later I should have
been tougher!! And there were tangents I felt it necessary to
allow, even though every part of me was anxious to get certain
academics completed. For example, since he was six, my son and
his father have been making movies together. They were major
productions, requiring not only their time, but mine. I had to take
over many of their household responsibilities as well as help with
props and clean up extra messes. By the time my son was 14 and
involved in violin lessons, orchestra, and chamber music, I
shouted, "No more movies!" Then, during prayer, I realized that I
was to agree to one more, for my son's sake. In the past these had
been something father and son could enjoy together, but I viewed
it primarily as a gratifying hobby for my husband. Now, however,
our son was planning to study music composition in college in
order to compose scores for films, so I didn't see how acting in
another movie would help him, or how we could fit everything into
an already full schedule. But, I tried to be obedient to the Lord and
supportive to my family.

My son helped write, direct, and edit their final movie. Like their
previous movies, it was then shown at Philcon, a science fiction
convention in Philadelphia. As it turned out, by 17 my son felt led
to become a filmmaker--a writer and director. He is now entering
his final year at the University of Southern California as a cinema-
television major with a calling on his life to be one of those
involved in turning the movie industry around, taking it over for
Christ. Now I can look back at those years as a reminder to obey
even when I don't first understand why.

Because I believed as a teacher that it was my job to find the way
for each student to succeed, my children had always worked
toward understanding, not for a grade. I had also varied methods
and resources, choosing those most appropriate for each of their
needs. So my son was used to a nontraditional approach. At 16, he
was eager to join other high school homeschoolers at a school that
met one day per week. Always sociable, he saw this as a way to
be with friends. I convinced him to wait until his senior year, and
then agreed to three classes, physics, precalculus, and an elective
he choose because it was a forum for discussion of current
issues--a chance to talk. He did enjoy being with his peers, and
has kept in contact with several friends he made while there. He
enjoyed being a part of various school events, including the
graduation exercises. But, he also confided to me that the
traditional approach was making it difficult for him to continue to
love learning, something which really surprised him. He then
agreed that just a few courses his senior year had been the best
decision.

I never had all the answers, but I did have the habit of prayer and
trusted that even when I was feeling uncertain, God was guiding.
And, although I always listened to and considered my kids'
complaints, changes that were made as a result of prayer are the
ones that I can look back on and say, "Yes, it was worth being
obedient in spite of the struggles that followed." We weren't
perfect parents, but we always told our children that we loved them
no matter what. That and our willingness to listen, I think, has
kept communication between us open. As they continue to study
(both are still in school, my daughter is finishing her law doctorate
this year) and prepare for their futures, they continue to actively
minister to friends and family. They know that God uses each of
us right where we are at every age, and so they have always tried
to share their knowledge and experience with others. They didn't
always have a vision for their life, but they always had meaning --
to love God and serve Him -- and waited expectantly for Him to
reveal His plan in His time.

The youth of America have been bombarded with wrong values,
told that they are pond scum, a mere product of evolution not a
creation of God, and encouraged to live selfishly, letting their
emotions be their guide. As Christians, we have the awesome
responsibility of training our children to stand and make a
difference. After all, we are all more than conquerors through
Christ (Romans 8:37). We just need to keep on reminding each of
our children that he or she is of value, and that one life can make
an incredible impact when that life is surrendered to God.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Teaching Help is a monthly teaching tips column by Kathryn
Stout. Kathryn desires to help home schoolers find out how to
keep their entire family excited about learning, how to turn
their kids into thinkers and doers, and how to make it all run
smoothly.

There are many Teaching Help issues available at the
Design-A-Study Web site. Some include:

August, 2001 - "Training Our Children In the Way They Should Go"
July, 2001 - "What Do I Do With Those Test Scores?"
June, 2001 - "Add Benefits to Summer Fun"
May, 2001 - "Helping Children Learn to Read"
April, 2001 - "Time to Talk"
March, 2001 - "Teaching With Toddlers"
February, 2001 - "Getting More Out of Movies - Part II"
January, 2001 - "Getting More Out of Movies - Part I"
December, 2000 - "Breaking Down the Barriers"
November, 2000 - "Teaching Children to Take a Stand"
October, 2000 - "Developing Classification Skills in Small Children"
September, 2000 - "Motivating Young Readers"
August, 2000 - "A Simple Approach to an Essential Tool: Vocabulary"
July, 2000 - "The Pauses That Refresh"
June, 2000 - "I Think, Therefore I . . . Fill in the Blanks?"
May, 2000 - "The Play's the Thing"
April 2000 - "Adjusting Attitude"
March 2000 - "Gaining Literary Experience"
February 2000 - "Fostering Creativity - A Balancing Act"
January 2000 - "Confidence Builders"
December 1999 - "Toys That Teach"
Oct/Nov 1999 - "Why Bother with Physical Education?"
September 1999 - "What's in a Game?"
August 1999 - "Introducing Word Problems"
July 1999 - "Getting Ready to Handwrite"
June 1999 - "Exploring the Sense of Touch"
May 1999 - "One Stop Shopping, or Eclectic Education?"
April 1999 - "What Do I Need to Know About Learning Styles?"
March 1999 - "Teaching Children Who Have Difficulty Learning"
February 1999 - "Kids Who Have Trouble Paying Atten. . ."
January 1999 - "Fun With Money"
December 1998 - "Easy Ways to Put Spark into Your Home School"
November 1998 - "How to Teach Handwriting"
October 1998 - "Tips for Multi-Level Planning"
September 1998 - "Casual Conversations Can Build Thinking Skills"
July/August 1998 - "Help! My Child Can't Spell"
June 1998 - "Fringe Benefits of the IEP: Individualized
Educational Program"
May 1998 - "Is It Possible To Enjoy Social Studies?"
April 1998 - "Playing To Learn"
March 1998 - "WHAT TO DO WITH THE HANDS-ON LEARNER"
February 1998 - "Beat the Blahs"
January 1998 - "Simple Techniques To Encourage Thinking Skills in
the Young"
December 1997 - "Exceptions To Our Established Homeschool Routines"
November 1997 - "Help Your Children Write Well"
October 1997 - "Try a Project Approach"
September 1997 - "Learning & Real Experiences"
August 1997 - "Opportunities for Discussions"
July 1997 - "Is It Easy?"

<www.designastudy.com/teaching/>

Send any comments or questions about Teaching Help to:
<mailto:teachinghelp@designastudy.com>

Send any recommendations for future topics to:
<mailto:kathryn@designastudy.com>

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Teaching Help column, visit the Subscribe Web page at:
<www.designastudy.com/teaching/subscribe.html>
Using the online form, you can subscribe or unsubscribe.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Kathryn Stout is the author of Design-A-Study--Resources for
Creating a Custom Curriculum. Design-A-Study Guides provide the
tools you need for a custom curriculum:

- Objectives
- Activities
- Teaching Strategies
- A Multi-grade Overview of each Subject

For more about Kathryn Stout and Design-A-Study, visit the
Design-A-Study Web site at <www.designastudy.com/>.

Web Site Directory:
HOME Page <www.designastudy.com/>
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