Quote from Forum Archives on April 30, 2007, 8:34 am

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"God's Garden"

 

 

GOD: Frank, you know all about gardens and nature. What in
the world is going on down there on the planet? What
happened to the dandelions, violets, thistle and stuff I started eons
ago? I had a perfect, no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in
any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The
nectar from the long lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees
and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colours by
now. But all I see are these green rectangles.

 

ST. FRANCIS: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The
Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers "weeds" and went to
great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.

 

GOD: Grass? But it's so boring. It's not colourful. It doesn't
attract butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sodworms. It's
sensitive to temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that
grass growing there?

 

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and
keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and
poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.

 

GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass
grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.

 

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they
cut it-- sometimes twice a week.

 

GOD: They cut it? Do they then bail it like hay?

 

ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up
and put it in bags.

 

GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell
it?

 

ST. FRANCIS: No, Sir. Just the opposite. They pay to throw
it away.

 

GOD: Now let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will
grow. And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?

 

ST. FRANCIS: Yes, Sir.

 

GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back
on therain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves
them a lot of work.

 

ST. FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe this Lord. When the grass
stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water
it so they cancontinue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.

 

GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees.
That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees
grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In
the autumn leaves fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep
moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they
rot, the leaves form compost to enhance the soil. It's a natural circle
of life.

 

ST. FRANCIS: You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a
newcircle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles
and pay to have them hauled away.

 

GOD: No fooling? What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in
the winter and to keep the soil moist and loose?

 

ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy
something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around
in place of the leaves.

 

GOD: And where do they get this mulch?

 

ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.

 

GOD: Enough. I don't want to think about this anymore.
St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you
scheduled for us tonight?

 

ST. CATHERINE: "Dumb and Dumber," Lord. It's a really stupid movie
about....

 

GOD: Never mind. I think I just heard the whole story from
St. Francis.

 

 

"Drink, Steal, Swear & Lie"

 

 I met this guy and he has a motto he lives by everyday.  He said listen carefully and live by these 4 rules:

 

Drink, Steal, Swear, & Lie

 

I was shaking my head 'No', but he then told me to listen while he explained his four rules.  So here they are:

 

1.. Drink from the "everlasting cup" every day.

2.. Steal a moment to help someone that is in worse shape than you are.
3.. Swear that you will be a better person today than yesterday.
4.. And last, but not least, when you lie down at night thank God you live in a free Country.

 

Have a Blessed Day

Dave and Barbara

 

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