Quote from Forum Archives on April 12, 2001, 12:31 am

Posted by: homenews <homenews@...>

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THE HOPE CHEST: Ideas and Inspiration for Home Education
Issue #40 part 1 / April 2001
Be an Overcomer!
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WELCOME TO THE HOPE CHEST!

The Hope Chest Home School News is a free “bi-monthly” e-mail newsletter
with encouragement and
practical teaching tips. The editor is Virginia Knowles, wife of Thad,
and mother of eight baby-to-teen
children. Virginia is also author of The Real Life Home School Mom, The
Best of the Hope Chest
Volumes 1, 2 and 3, and the designer of the Learner’s Journal.
(Ordering information is at the end of the
newsletter for these resources and several by Cindy Rushton.)

If you like this newsletter, please forward it to your friends! THANKS!!

Hope Chest contact information:
Web page: www.hopechest.homestead.com/welcome.html
Personal e-mail: HomeNews@juno.com
Subscription address: HopeChest-Subscribe@Associate.com
Unsubscription address: HopeChest-Unsubscribe@Associate.com
To change address, unsubscribe from your old address and subscribe from
your new address.

This newsletter is currently sent out in a few parts per issue. This is
part 1 of 3.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Part 1

FROM MY HEART TO YOURS:
Nurturing Naomi: How to Help Yourself or Someone Else Overcome
Discouragement
by Virginia Knowles

Part 2

DIGGING DEEPER: Scriptures to Accompany “Nurturing Naomi” Article
“ABOVE ONLY” by Nancy Campbell
“THE ATMOSPHERE OF THE HOME” by Nancy Campbell
REJOICE! by Val Halloran

Part 3
WHAT’S UP IN THE NEXT ISSUE?
ON OUR HOMEFRONT: What’s New at the Knowles House?
by Virginia Knowles
RESOURCE ORDERING INFORMATION
REPRINT PERMISSION

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FROM MY HEART TO YOURS: “Nurturing Naomi”:
How to Help Yourself or Someone Else Overcome Discouragement
by Virginia Knowles
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[Note: Usually my feature article is not quite so long! Let me know if
you don’t receive all of it. This is the
basic text of a half hour speech I gave on April 3 for the Northland Home
Educators support group in
Longwood, Florida. I have tapes available for those who are interested.
E-mail me for details. The tape
actually has a bit more since I ad-libbed!]

As you know, Thad and I have a beautiful baby daughter named Naomi Faith.
When I was in the hospital
after her birth, I spent several hours studying the book of Ruth to get
to know my baby’s namesake. I
found that Naomi’s story taught me so much about how to handle upheaval,
discouragement and
bitterness. Here is the first part of it in a nutshell:

There is a famine in Bethlehem, so Naomi and her family leave their
homeland to live as foreigners in
Moab, where her two sons marry heathen women. Then her husband and sons
die, supposedly ending
her family line. She decides to go back to Israel, and along the way,
has to say goodbye to her
daughter-in-law Orpah. Naomi and her other daughter-in-law Ruth must make
the long journey around the
Dead Sea, which is a symbol of her experience at this point -- bitter and
empty of any life. Fortunately,
things start to improve for Naomi at this point, and the story ends
happily, as we will see in a little bit.

I think that the keys to her comfort and recovery are ones that will help
any home school mom who is
feeling the pressures of life, or those who are trying to help other moms
overcome discouragement. Let
me ask you: What are you going through? Have you lost a family member
through death, divorce or a
child leaving home? Have you had to move? Are you under financial stress?
Has there been a major
conflict or illness in your family? Have you recently had a baby, or are
you pregnant? Do you have a child
with learning disabilities? Are you confused about how to teach or
discipline your child? Is life just too
chaotic with so many activities and responsibilities?

Our family has gone through periods of time when we’ve had almost every
imaginable stress factor in our
lives. If you’ve ever seen those little stress profile quizzes in
magazines, let me tell you that we’ve been
off the charts with death, illnesses, unemployment, career changes, new
babies, and all that stuff. By
God’s grace, we have survived! This last pregnancy in particular was
pretty tough for my entire family
since I had health problems, and was so tired and sore. It made me
reconsider how I want to live my life
according to the principles I will share this evening from the story of
Naomi.

The first key is this: We need to SEE GOD’S PROVIDENCE AND SOVEREIGNTY
IN ALL SITUATIONS.

When Naomi heard that God had come to the aid of his people by providing
food for them, she sets out
for Bethlehem. When she and Ruth get there and are greeted by her old
friends, she tells them, “Don't
call me Naomi. Call me Marah, because the Almighty has made my life very
bitter. I went away full, but
the LORD has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi? The LORD has
afflicted me; the Almighty
has brought misfortune upon me."

The name Marah means bitter, while Naomi means pleasant or delightful.
The other place we find a
reference to Marah in the Bible is in Exodus 15, when the children of
Israel, wandering around in the dry
old desert, come to a place with bitter water. The Lord does a miracle
with a piece of wood and makes
the water sweet.

Perhaps Naomi is hoping that God will intervene and make her life sweet
from now on. She knows it’s
the hand of God that allows each circumstance, bad or good. She doesn’t
always like it, but she accepts
it! She knows her life is not ruled by chance, but by a sovereign Lord.

As it turns out, in God’s gracious plan, Ruth ends up gleaning for barley
in the field of Boaz. He’s a good
man who admires her devotion to Naomi, so he makes sure that his workers
treat Ruth respectfully and
that they leave lots of grain on the ground for her to gather. It isn’t
“luck” that lands Ruth in the right place
at the right time. God sees all things, and blesses people for what they
have done and how they trust him.
Naomi acknowledges this when she says, “He has not stopped showing his
kindness to the living and the
dead.”

How we react to the hard knocks of life is a powerful example for our
children. Do you have a child who is
easily discouraged when the picnic gets rained out or Dad misses his ball
game because of a business
trip? Have you taught him that God is still in control of everything,
or do you fuss and fume when your
preschooler throws the whole box of math manipulatives all over the
floor, or pout because you have to
stay home from a home school meeting when your second grader has the
tummy flu?

If the little things like this throw you, how will you ever be able to
deal with a MAJOR crisis in life?

One way that I try to help my children get ready to face discouragement
is through reading good literature
about people who go through tough circumstances. Lately we have been
reading Roll of Thunder, Hear
My Cry by Mildred Taylor. It is told from the perspective of a nine year
old black girl living in Mississippi in
the 1930s as her family wrestles with the issue of racism and how to
respond to injustice.

It’s true that God allows us to go through tough times. It may seem like
he is not taking care of us, but he
is. Psalm 66:8-12 declares, “Praise our God, O peoples, let the sound
of his praise be heard; he has
preserved our lives and kept our feet from slipping. For you, O God,
tested us; you refined us like silver.
You brought us into prison and laid burdens on our backs. You let men
ride over our heads; we went
through fire and water, but you brought us to a place of abundance.”

When I am going through a tough time, I often find that I’m motivated to
keep trusting and keep trying
because of the gentle testimony of someone else who has gone through in a
similar situation. And when I
know someone else who needs this kind of support, I also try to BE part
of the kindness of God by serving
and giving as I am able. Our hands are the ones he can use.

Yes, we need to see God’s providence and sovereignty in each situation.

The second key from Naomi’s story is to HOLD THINGS AND PEOPLE LOOSELY
and LEARN TO “LET
GO AND LET GOD!”

Over the years, Naomi has to let go of her home and her family. She
doesn’t try to cling tightly to Orpah or
Ruth, but gives them the freedom to choose whether they want to go with
her or stay in Moab. In
Bethlehem, she continues to hold Ruth loosely, letting her go out to
glean and even arranging for her to
get married. That’s not the sign of a jealous heart. Naomi never does
“lose” Ruth, who has pledged
lifetime loyalty to her because Naomi possesses godly faith and
character that is worth following, not
because she is domineering and controlling. Naomi even gives up her legal
claim to her own land so that
Ruth can marry Boaz according to kinsman-redeemer customs of Israel.

Likewise, when Job lost all of his possessions and his ten children, he
still said, “The LORD gave and the
LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised." Job and Naomi
knew that things and
people are a blessing, but they won’t bring you ultimate happiness. If
you try to hold on to them, you will
always be insecure. Relax your grip!

How can home school moms apply this concept?

First, about THINGS, you don’t have to grab up all the newest curriculum
and educational stuff that is on
the market! The most important curriculum resource you have is your
Bible. Everything else is an
“elective.” Don’t worry if you can’t afford expensive books and gadgets.
God will provide what you need
when you need it. One way he does this is through generosity. It’s a
real blessing to see home school
moms share their resources with each other. This is a modern example of
the principle of gleaning. Do
you have extra curriculum or a good book that you could lend or give to
another mom? Matthew 10:8
says, “Freely you have received, freely give.” So hold things loosely!
God will bless you for it!

Second, about PEOPLE, don’t be a control freak!

When you are ministering to another mom, you can offer advice, but give
her the dignity to make her own
decisions.

Being a control freak really hits home when we’re talking about our own
children! Can you trust that God
will lead your children and work in their hearts? Our goal in life is
not to make our children dependent on
us forever, but to launch them toward independence bit by bit. Yes, we
have a great influence over
children, and we need to hold them accountable for their attitudes and
behavior, but we can’t live their
lives for them. If we try to dictate every detail of their destiny, we
will get very uptight and feel guilty for
every mistake they make. A bossy or grumpy Mom makes everyone tense,
and won’t motivate her
children to do what is right. James 1:20 warns use that “... man's
anger does not bring about the
righteous life that God desires.”

Our children will leave the nest someday. Will they have memories of a
warm relationship with their
mother, or will they be in a hurry to get out from under your thumb?

Learn to hold things and people loosely. Let go and let God!

The third key is to CONNECT WITH KINDRED MINDS (WHO SHARE COMMON FAITH
AND VALUES)
AND CULTIVATE AT LEAST ONE CLOSE FRIENDSHIP

When Naomi comes back to Bethlehem, she is greeted by the dear women in
the community of faith that
she had left so many years ago. After years in a spiritually dry
country, this must be like sweet water to a
parched soul. But Naomi is still having a hard time adjusting. She
feels like the odd one out, the only one
to have suffered. Has she forgotten that these women have gone through a
famine in Bethlehem? They
have faced their own challenges in life, so they can compassionately
reach out to their hurting friend.
Fortunately, by the end of our story, Naomi is very happily reconnected
with this circle of friends who are
rejoicing with her.

How about you? Are you plugged into a support network? What “human
resources” do you have?

Your immediate family
Your extended family
Your church
Your home school support group
Your Christian friends
Even books, magazines and internet resources are great sources of
encouragement!

Northland Home Educators devotes most meetings to encouraging home school
parents to raise their
children for God’s glory. Small group discussions help us connect with
each other on a more personal
level. I really thank God for the women of NHE. For the past seven
years, you have been here for me!
You have offered me sweet fellowship. You have prayed for me in times of
discouragement. You have
shared teaching tips and advice. When I’ve been tempted to wander from
my convictions about education
and family life, you have kept me focused on what is truly important.
What a blessing you are to me and
to each other!

When someone new comes to our meetings or maybe someone we just haven’t
seen in a long while, we
need to make them feel welcome! Take a little time to chat, get her
phone number, introduce her to the
other ladies, maybe even invite her to your house or offer to show her
around at the home school
convention. Help her connect with our little community of faith and
values!

Do you feel alone in your struggles? You might be tempted to think no
one else is going through anything
like you are, but if you are willing to share about it -- even a teeny
tiny bit -- you might find someone who
can help you. We don’t always know when other people have been through
the same problem until we
ask around! Last month, a mom told me that she was able to get a
diagnosis for her son’s learning
disability after describing the symptoms to another mom in her NHE
discussion group whose son had the
same problems! That’s such a good example of networking!

It’s important to seek our spiritual comfort and advice from mature
Christian believers! The world out
there is full of bad opinions. We need discernment to see whether
advice matches up with Scripture.

Proverbs 13:20 says that “He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a
companion of fools suffers
harm.” Who are your companions?

Proverbs 27:9 says, “Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the
pleasantness of one's friend
springs from his earnest counsel.” Do you have someone to give you
earnest counsel, or just someone
who tells you what you want to hear?

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 say, “Two are better than one, because they have a
good return for their work: If one
falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and
has no one to help him up!”

Do you know someone like this who is struggling or discouraged? It is
easy to avoid her because we don’t
feel like we have all the answers for her. But just BEING there is a
ministry in itself! Think back to what
helped you most when you were having a hard time. It wasn’t a lecture,
but LOVE. We must
communicate: “I’m here for you. Let me know how I can help.” But don’t
just wait for her to tell you what
you can do. She might be too timid to ask. So go ahead and bring her a
plate of chocolate chip cookies,
send her a sweet card, give her a hug, call her on the phone. You don’t
need to say much at all or pretend
that you understand everything. Just let her know you care.

Let’s reconnect with others to build each other up in our common faith
and values!

Here’s the fourth key: DEVELOP A QUIET ROUTINE OF HOMEMAKING

Not much is said about what Naomi did in Bethelehem, but is appears that
she adopted a fairly calm and
settled lifestyle, staying home to keep house while Ruth went out to
work. During or after a period of
upheaval, sometimes what we need most is peace and quiet. We need to
settle down and keep the
chaos to a minimum.

When we are busy running here and there from one activity to another, our
home life suffers. The
schedule gets all out of whack, clutter takes over, we don’t eat right,
we don’t get enough sleep, our
husbands start feeling the burden of extra stuff to do when they get
home, and the children start acting up.
Does your family get the “leftovers” of your energy, or are you being
“busy at home” and “loving your
husband and children” as we are told to do in Titus 2:4-5. If your life
seems out of control, reevaluate your
priorities. Work on developing a basic routine. Then, as you wish, you
can add in one other extra thing at
a time.

I find that when my house is messy, it’s pretty hard to stay focused on
school work. Clutter is so
distracting! It steals your time, your space, and, and if you can’t find
what you are looking for, it robs you
of the use of your possessions too! An organized home brings a sense of
peace and rest, and it gives
you the freedom to show hospitality to others.

Another major household task is fixing meals! The way to a man’s heart
is still through his stomach! The
same goes for our children who get struck with a case of the hungry
munchies around 10 o’clock in the
morning and can’t seem to concentrate on school work! There will be
much less stress is your home if
you serve lots of good healthy food at regular times.

Speaking of food, the NHE meals ministry is a GREAT way to encourage
another mom who has been sick
or had a baby. From recent experience, I can tell you what a HELP it is
during a time of upheaval!

It’s crucial to get our children involved in caring for the home. As we
learn to delegate, they will learn the
life skills they need, and we will get more done! Actually though, with
this last pregnancy, I found I was
depending too much on my older children. One of my biggest recent goals
-- now that I’m able to bend
over again -- is to take back some of my own duties and restore order to
my home. This means I have to
cut back on some of my more sedentary pursuits like writing. I haven’t
given this up entirely, because I
depend on it for my own sanity, and it ministers to others. However, I
have made more effort to keep this
one area of life in its proper place.

Homemaking is one of our primary roles. It can do wonders for the
atmosphere of our home school.

The noble Proverbs 31 woman “sets about her work vigorously; her arms are
strong for her tasks... She
is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom, and
faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of
her household and does not eat the
bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband
also, and he praises her: "Many
women do noble things, but you surpass them all."

I just got a copy of Teri Maxwell’s new book Homeschooling with a Meek
and Quiet Spirit, and in one
chapter she talks about how when we decide to home school our children,
we are basically signing up for
a lifestyle of HARD WORK. We aren’t going to have a whole lot of free
time left over after we take care
of our assorted responsibilities. The question is: Can you do this with
a smile on your face?

I have a confession to make about this. On Saturday, after spending most
of my day grocery shopping,
taking care of sick children, typing business reports for my husband, and
doing miscellaneous housework,
I looked forward to sitting quietly at the computer and finishing up the
notes for this speech.

But when I got interrupted -- several times -- I got really resentful
and stormed out of the house in tears.
Unfortunately, I didn’t have money in the budget for a good old shopping
spree to calm my nerves, so after
driving around the neighborhood for a few minutes, I went home and made
dinner. I felt guilty for my poor
reactions. I didn’t deserve for anyone to rise up and call me blessed
that afternoon!

Like other moms, I need to learn to work cheerfully as unto the Lord,
without expecting a lot in return. I
need to learn to develop that quiet routine of homemaking that creates a
haven of peace and joy for my
family.

And the final key is to INVEST IN FUTURE GENERATIONS

Naomi doesn’t just think of the “here and now” of putting food on the
table, but looks ahead to the future.
She isn’t selfish. She really wants the best for Ruth, so one day she
sits Ruth down and says, “Honey, we
need to find you a MAN! How ‘bout that guy Boaz?” Well, maybe she
doesn’t say it like THAT, but you
get the picture. She gives Ruth a few quick courtship hints, and pretty
soon wedding bells are ringing.
But the story doesn’t stop there!

In the last chapter of Ruth, Scripture reminds us three times that it is
the Lord who causes each child to
be conceived. Sure enough, in due time, Ruth and Boaz have a baby named
Obed who is the joy of
Naomi’s heart. But this cozy little story did not just affect these
three generations. It totally transformed
the history of the world! You see, Obed was the grandfather of King
David, who wrote the Psalms. The
Messiah, Jesus, was born in Bethlehem because he was “of the house and
lineage of David.” In other
words, the Savior of the World was the fruit of this marriage!

Each and every child that we have is a gift from God. Though you may
have had a baby who was
“unexpected” -- at least by you -- God does not make any accidents! He
forms each child in the womb for
a purpose! You may feel like you have a child that you can’t handle --
one who stretches you way past
your utmost limits of patience and wisdom -- but God knows exactly what
your child needs. He knows
your child’s past, and he knows your child’s future -- every day of your
child’s future!

In Psalm 139:13-16, Ruth’s great grandson David extols God with these
words: “For you created my
inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you
because I am fearfully and
wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My
frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the
depths of the earth, your eyes
saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your
book before one of them came
to be.”

Raising these bundles of joy to be wholehearted for God requires
sacrifice on the part of the parents. We
are investing our lives in our children through home schooling.
Sometimes this may seem overwhelming,
and we wonder why we bother. But we need to look beyond the short term,
and see the ripple effect of
our actions. If we equip our children with godly character and a desire
to serve and glorify God, then their
ministry will affect nations and generations! We must keep this in
focus, or we will be tempted to settle for
second best of just getting through the spelling test and the math
lessons.

And let’s not forget our toddlers and preschoolers! Are you just trying
to keep them out of trouble and
wishing for the day when they are potty trained? They need just as much
active attention as your school
age children, if not more! Are you taking the time to cuddle them,
discipline them, help them learn their
numbers and colors and read them Bible stories?

It seems like a blink of an eye from the time a child is doing those ABCs
to when they turn into teenagers,
but it happens! I actually have a daughter who is starting high school
this fall. With eight children at
home, it would be really easy to try to get by with the minimum for home
school high school. But we have
to think seriously about her future, about her life after she leaves our
home. We want to send her off with
the very best we can give her, even when it requires hard work and
financial sacrifice.

As we make these decisions about how to spend our time and money, we need
to make sure our own
children’s needs are met before we fill up our schedule with other
things. Then as we are able, we can
invest in the lives of other children. For you, this might mean
organizing a field trip or teaching Sunday
School. This year, I really appreciate Mike and Cheryl Bastian for
investing in NHE children by setting up
a private school enrollment option for us. For me, investing in other
children means writing and publishing
books and newsletters to equip their moms to home school them. They were
all written to encourage you
in the high call of home educating your children. They were all written
as an investment in future
generations for eternity.

As I close this little speech, let me ask you: Are you feeling empty?
Bitter? Dried up? Let’s go to the Lord
for “filling”! A home school friend named Melony writes:

The word "empty" is so descriptive of discouragement. God often speaks in
His word of "fullness" and
“overflowing abundance.” When I am discouraged I realize I have to allow
myself to be filled, and that's
when I gobble up every good thing I can get my hands, and ears, and eyes
on. That is when I keep my
Christian radio on soaking up all the good music and great sermons. That
is when I make myself go
outside and fill up on the beauty of God's creation, and I’m always
amazed at how my hands want to follow
along... in planting flowers, preparing a special meal, turning the pages
of God's Word or a new good
book, or even better, doing something for someone else even if I don't
"feel" like it. Before long, I feel full
again, and usually more satisfied than before, because I have feasted on
the things of God instead of my
own misery.

And that’s a good word for all of us....