A Man Born Blind

“A Man Born Blind”

I REALLY didn’t know any better.

I remember sitting in church occasionally as a child. Back then most of myfamily attended Catholic churches, and most of the “mass” was in Latin. Iremember being self-conscious and worrying about being in sync with the restof the crowd – standing when they were standing, sitting when they were sitting,kneeling when they were kneeling. I remember trying to figure out where wewere in the little paperback liturgy booklet and chiming ” … and also withyou” in the appropriate gaps of the priest’s two-note melody. I rememberlots of “Hail Mary”s and an occasional Lord’s prayer. But most of all, Iremember gazing at the beautiful stained glass and the dozens of candlesand trying to figure out what the statue of a bloodied, dieing man boundand nailed to a cross had to do with all this.

By the time I had reached school age, my grandparents and parents had hada falling out with the church – seems we weren’t giving as much money tothe church as the pastor felt was appropriate. So my churchgoing days werepretty well limited to when my other grandmother took me – not often, butalready too often for my tastes. I had never really gotten the hang of thingsand always had a kind of spooky, eerie feeling.

It was some time later that I first opened up a Bible – and even then forcompletely the wrong reasons. You see, a bunch of my friends used to gettogether to play the home game “Jeopardy” and for the most part, I was theundisputed champion – unless the game had a “religion” or “Bible” category.Then, I’d fall so far behind in that one subject that I’d never catch up.I studied up on Genesis, Exodus and Matthew enough to regain my title asneighborhood champ. I thought for the most part they were pretty good stories,although not quite as interesting as the Greek, Roman or Norse mythologyI had taken a liking to.

Of course, I had never made any sort of mental connection between any ofthis and my salvation. For starters, I was never really all too sure thereeven WAS a God. I was very fond of science, and it sure seemed that everyday another “miracle” of God was being explained away as some sort of randomact of nature. The sun wasn’t placed in the heavens to give us light andwarmth – it was flung there by chance in some all-encompassing “Big Bang”.And life wasn’t “created” – it just sprung up with the right mixture of chemicalsand electricity. And of course man was nothing special – just the lateststage of an endless line of mutations from those first simple life forms.

Even if there was a God, how could I be left out of His Kingdom? I was apretty clean kid – never stole, rarely “swore”, certainly never murderedor raped. I could point to dozens of people who were far “worse” than I was- besides, one of the few things I was ready to believe about God was thathe was all-forgiving! How could He forgive those gigantic sins of everybodyelse and have a problem with my tiny transgressions?

And finally, even if my misunderstanding should somehow displease God andI would spend the rest of eternity in Hell, I didn’t care! I could handleit! ( I have no idea how that ultra-macho idea got into my brain, but boy,does it sound stupid, now.)

Well, my slightly-inflated self image took a beating pretty soon thereafter.It seems like in very short time I became a college dropout, a divorced fatherof two, and an alcoholic. Even this didn’t particularly phase me, but itwas at this time that I started to recognize that there was something missingin my life. I married again shortly after, and finally began to see the light.My wife Lory was not yet truly a believer, but she did know much more aboutthe Lord and His promises than I did. Some of our best discussions (and worstarguments) were about religion. I took a very negative stance at first, butGod slowly softened my heart and allowed me to accept the truth. An old friendof hers recommended a Bible and we began to study God’s word together.

Soon we discovered some Christian music that we liked – mostly Keith Greenand later Don Francisco and the Talbot brothers. It was through their testimonyin song that I first got a glimpse of what it FEELS like to trust in Jesus.We had been talking for some time about looking for a place to worship Godand learn more, but didn’t know where to start. Even our meager studies ofthe Bible at home had convinced us that we could not be comfortable in thedenominations we were familiar with, so we were really looking for somethingnew. God led us to a small congregation not far from our home, where theBible is studied, spoken and practiced.

After a few visits to this church, Richard, the pastor, came to visit us.He took the time to explain to us that, if left to ourselves, we are alllost. Even the single tiniest sin separates us from God, and the only wayto be forgiven is through God’s grace as offered through Jesus, our Lordand Saviour. After Richard left, I felt convicted immediately, as if allmy shortcomings of the previous 30 years had finally caught up with me. Loryfelt the same way, and after more study and prayer, we both came to trustin Jesus as our Saviour.

The Lord has blessed us greatly in the years since, and I thank Him for eachblessing – but no earthly blessing can possibly compare with how he openedmy eyes to His truth, and died so that I might yet live.

Jim Kostich

This article originated on The Salvation Online Network