The Origins Of Homosexuality 2

ORIGENS OF HOMOSEXUALITY

• Part 2

“The road towards homosexuality begins with the first day of life. “Day one” has great significance … it is important that both parents are present during this time …”

The First Days Of Life

Dr Irving Bieber has said, “The family is the architect of homosexuality.” The road towards homosexuality begins with the first day of life. Day one has great significance. It is in the first few moments of life that a bonding takes place called intimate binding. This bonding between infant and parents is of vital importance to their future relationships. Research has shown that during the first 45-60 minutes of life, a child’s state of consciousness is in “state #4”, which is the quiet, alert state. (There are six states of consciousness, ranging from sleep to screaming.) During state #4, the child can see, has visual preferences and will turn his head toward someone speaking. He has been prepared for this important first meeting with his parents. European hospitals are beginning to recognize this important event and are making the proper atmosphere possible. But American hospitals are slow to recognize this need and a mother should ensure that she will be able to hold and comfort her baby right after birth before signing into a hospital. The child who is whisked away faces a new world of blinding lights, cold temperature and pain with no welcome. This is rejection at its worst.

The Father’s Part.

The father who is absent during this critical time is adversely affecting his future relationship with his child. It is important that both parents hold the child. The baby needs to know that he has a mother and also a father. Some suggest that the husband hold the infant to his bare chest, establishing the same kind of bond that occurs when the wife will nurse their child. What is being established is UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. When this is firmly established, the child can weather any storm in life. He will feel loved and affirmed. He will feel secure and protected. Dr. Bieber also has a word on this subject: “We have come to the conclusion that a constructive, supportive, warmly-related father precludes the possibility of a homosexual son; he acts as a neutralizing protective agent, should the mother make seductive or close-binding attempts.”

Establishing Identity.

The father is significant in establishing the identity of both male and female children. Charles W. Socarides in his book, The Overt Homosexual, makes this statement: “The importance of the father to the child’s psychological development cannot be overestimated. To the boy he is the model for masculine identification, giving him a feeling of security in relation to the environment. For the girl it is the father’s love which creates a model for heterosexual love in adulthood.”

The Consequences Of Rejection.

Many have said that the opposite of love is not hate (as most would conclude), but indifference. In our eight years of counseling homosexuals at Love In Action, San Rafael, most have not had a cruel father, but what we call an emotionally-absent father. This subtle rejection is far more damaging than a father who physically beats his child. With the abusive father, there are usually times of closeness. Even the punishment inflicted is in itself a relationship, and the absent father is usually fantasized about. That is if he were present, he would be loving and caring; however, the father who is present and indifferent presents the stark image of total rejection. This rejection sets in motion a force that becomes one of the preconditional factors of homosexuality.

The Search For Unconditional Love.

The child being denied his God-given right for unconditional love will seek to have this need filled through others. For some, this unfulfilled need will take them directly into homosexuality. Others will live with lives severely damaged in other areas. Some totally withdraw from life and exist in a fantasy world of their own making. Here they have their needs met and as they depart from reality, they lay the groundwork for a life of isolation loneliness, and rejection.